My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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