did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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