That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
