So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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