What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she pinky promised me she was 18
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Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
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The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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