I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
