I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
