I wish I could teleport
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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