i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
that may or may not have been my penis.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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