you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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