I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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