plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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