i jhust puked up my retainher.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
