Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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