hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
