I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
