Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
