Texts From Last Night

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  (909): View more from California

  It must have been true love

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other

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  (909): It must have been true love (604): I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other http://tfl.nu/pjnl
  Replies (20) Good night (2721) Bad night (1106)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?

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  (617): Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money? http://tfl.nu/6pei
  Replies (12) Good night (2661) Bad night (507) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic

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  (917): She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic http://tfl.nu/5xzq
  Replies (37) Good night (4992) Bad night (1365) Order T-Shirt
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.

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  (334): Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened. http://tfl.nu/9jlv
  Replies (16) Good night (4818) Bad night (1130) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.

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  (954): You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone. http://tfl.nu/c0ys
  Replies (33) Good night (3872) Bad night (568) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.

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  (404): I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced. http://tfl.nu/ok17
  Replies (23) Good night (4918) Bad night (450)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.

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  (845): Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad. http://tfl.nu/mllb
  Replies (18) Good night (666) Bad night (4979) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.

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  (540): She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her. http://tfl.nu/1bms
  Replies (13) Good night (4674) Bad night (1261) Order T-Shirt
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium

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  (717): dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium http://tfl.nu/wa3w
  Replies (20) Good night (5160) Bad night (1066) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice

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  (443): frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice http://tfl.nu/wkbo
  Replies (6) Good night (680) Bad night (1967) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.

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  (678): Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out. http://tfl.nu/slt6
  Replies (8) Good night (365) Bad night (1292) Order T-Shirt
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere

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  (808): Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere http://tfl.nu/w66n
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (455) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out

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  (215): i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out http://tfl.nu/4dk0
  Replies (13) Good night (542) Bad night (828)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working

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  (613): You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working http://tfl.nu/3fis
  Replies (2) Good night (230) Bad night (414) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i think i might be a female sloth

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  (617): female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away (781): i think i might be a female sloth http://tfl.nu/d8fr
  Replies (5) Good night (1558) Bad night (128)

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