Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
