with your own penis?
there was a trapeze. enough said
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
