I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
