Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
