I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I love having hate sex.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
