The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize