my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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