I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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