I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
All the doctor said was why
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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