4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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