drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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