My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Randomize
