tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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