I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
