the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize