so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize