How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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