Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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