if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's Friday. Sex?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
