we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
