i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
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I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
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On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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