Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
