you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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