I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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