We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Randomize
