Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
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i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
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Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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