I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
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Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
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if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
