i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
