just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
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After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Houston, we have a blender
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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