i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
