Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize