I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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