he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
