YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
As shirtless as possible
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
