doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
