He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
