Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
