Cold hands, warm shart.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
