they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Congratulations! We have a period
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
